This is
what politicians announced after the dismaying
results of the PISA study regarding the educational attainment of
German students. How does this work in reality? Business as usual when
politicians deliver such speeches.
Take this
example:
Tuesday,
morning class. The timetable announces: English, taught by an apodictic
veteran nazi you don’t want to contradict,
unless you intend an F alongside your name.
Followed up
by zombie-language Latin which is capable of shocking the students even more
than any movie Romero, Fulci or Carpenter could think of.
Thereupon
sports which can only be called diaphoretic
in case the regular teacher is being substituted and the students arrange the
lesson.
Subsequently
computer sciences where we are denied the access to the computer labs since the
school leaving exams are
held in the building complex the labs are located in. A splendid achievement in
organization.
Last but
not least stinks. For anyone who is keen
on chemistry at least bearable and somewhat educational.
Altogether
an ordinary school day but you betake yourself to go to
school cherishing the illusion of
learning something.
First
class:
You arrive
in the class room, listening to some pointless conversation you overhear
while waiting for the teacher. But latter does not appear. Inquiring
at the secretariat we are told to be patient. The teacher certainly will show
up soon. Eventually
the 45 minutes pass without even the appearance of a substitute leaving a
complete class of idlers.
Second
class:
English
class separates, Latin class assembles. Fact is our class is as capable of the language
as a Islamist is tolerant towards human rights, due to regular class
cancellation and consistent
teacher changes since 7th grade. Two of our Latin teachers suffered
from a
prolonged illness and during this
period virtually no lesson was held. There
was not even an attempt of giving us exercises to bridge the time.
Later on we
got a substitute teacher who is as aptly as a teacher as an ALDI shopping bag is suited
as a petroleum carrier (which by the way is apposite
to most of the teachers of my so called “school”). Thus
two and a half years we learnt next to nothing about
Latin. And since we could not make up for the lost time that
easy, let alone considering
a dead language like Latin, towards we could not bring up
any motivation what so ever, our Latin skills were correspondingly
desolate. So much about the
foretime of our Latin class.
In tenth
grade, back in present time when this article was written, our Latin teacher is
indisposed once again and once again
the school is not capable of providing a substitute. Instead frolicsome
pupils left blithering,
gossiping, chitchatting
and of course working on forgotten homework for the previous class (though it
did not take place but the teacher might be back the next days, who knows) and
upcoming classes.
Little
break: the first major break. Where you can learn a lot more from schoolmates
in 20 minutes, than in the actual classes or from the teachers. For example the
classical philosophical aporia
which asks the question, whether, when a tree falls and no one is around to
witness the event, it still would make a noise. We were defied to prove the
questioner wrong and he himself noticeably enjoyed the confusion he caused.
After that
we go to sports. Lo and behold:
substitution! Why is it I am not surprised? Still, at least an actual gym
teacher is assigned! This is not the invariably case.
However, it rather occurs in gym class than in any other class, where an
assignment for a specialist
substitute is an outright
rarity. And in fact we are practicing sports. Having said this,
as told before, gym class rather is to be considered as such when
it is given as a replacement lesson.
2 classes
and a five-minute-break later it is time for the second major break. The level
of education is raised afresh
until it sags again in the 5th
lesson due to the fact that the teacher is substituted once more. In the
meantime one or two students went home because they were unwilling to
attend a school day of idling.
Just to be accused of cutting school the
next day. Hello!!! What kind of school???
45 minutes
of iron butt later we arrived at the
one and only not substituted lesson this day: chemistry. At the very least after
45 minutes of actual teaching you get an impression of how school might look
like and you are released to go home, still asking yourself why you went to
school this morning in the first place.
The answer:
unfortunately our working world demands a scrap of paper,
imprinted with symbols called
“numerals” or “grades”, or even a
meaningless piece of crap called “Abitur”. Those things are pervaded
by abovementioned
conditions and the students are obliged
to downright toil
themselves through school day by day, only for the chance of serving in a
bearable job one day.
We
summarize: out of 6 lessons 5 were substituted! You went through the whole
school day just for stinks.
It is
utterly
sad but unfortunately it is reality and no exaggerated
satire. At this point one should ask himself what we are doing wrong. Because
one thing is for sure: that is not the way for it to continue.
(orginially posted on May 7th, 2006)
(orginially posted on May 7th, 2006)
